Letting Go!

I fell in love with this guy from the moment I saw one of his videos. I was facebook scrolling and one of my favorite thinker friends shared one of Jay Shettys videos that made me an instant fan. I believe the universe gives you exactly what you need when you need it. I have been in a very low place physically. My daily statement was that my mind was too strong so the devil is attacking my body.

I am in the middle of such a transition in my life. To date, I am a year in. A year in to trying to figure out which way to turn. A year in to trying to figure out which road to take. A year into trying to figure out why did I get married. A year into figuring out what should I be figuring out first.

The video spoke to me because my husband and I have been saying since the second month we got married that communication is the biggest problem that we face. We would agree with the statement. We would revert to the statement when trying to communicate but the communication never got better. To date we still haven't figured it out. What I have noticed is that communication is hard because one of us is speaking offensively and the other defensively. Of course I can say that nothing I have to say he wants to hear and he will say that I want to live in the past and I won't move forward.

After yet another attempt at trying to communicate I call the wisest person on earth that I know...My #1 Guy ...my father!

The conversation with my father was very emotional. Well it was an emotional conversation for me. I wanted my father to call my husband and talk to him about being a man. As his voice projected he said to me that "no man has to be told how to be a man!" His statement left me speechless. What could I say. In his loving and caring voice my father told me what I didn't want to hear. He said to me in his own way that daddy can't fix this one.

I sat in the parking lot reflecting on his words and couldn't help but to cry. He was absolutely right! What was I supposed to do. I'm in a situation that a conversation can't help. I am in a situation that the advice I'm being given I didn't want to hear.

The conversation with my father made me reflect on a video by my fav Jay Shetty yet again and I sent a message that simply said... "don't worry about talking to my father". Of course the texts came flowing in and were all anger based. A few phone calls and hang ups and more phone calls and hang ups that resulted in absolutely nothing to help the cause occurred. I couldn't focus because all I remember hearing is my #1 guy telling me that even daddy couldn't fix it. I knew he couldn't and my true expectation wasn't that daddy could fix it. I think I was just looking for another way to address the situation. I wanted guidance. I wanted to know what could I do to no longer feel like I was going crazy. I wanted to know how I could speak to this man, my husband in a way that he would understand, open his eyes, realize what he has been doing... but what I got was in no way shape or form what I wanted to hear. My father told me that I had to let it go!

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